Thursday, June 3, 2010

Thought-provoking poetry

Hi my lovely readers! Yes that's me on the picture but it's an old one ;P I wrote this poem a while ago. It's about me doing phone calls and not understanding the people on the other line. It makes me pretty pissed when that happens and it does happen very often (-.-)
It's more from the other perspective. I just feel so pissed.... I feel a bit better but still inside I'm on 180° lol. I really do hope that later after the surgery things will get better with phone calls but you know where my heart wants to go. In the meantime I will do what I have to do and somehow everything will fall into place, I just need to have faith although I lack this...
It makes me very, very upset, when I don't hear the other person on the phone. Sometime I do hear them but there are times when I don't and those times are bigger... well it's hard to explain to an outsider how I hear and why sometimes it works and other times it doesn't... I'm sick of all this I swear!!!! But okay, I need to give the surgery a chance and my company too because they are patient with me although they still want me to do my job well. I owe it to them, that's right but I feel very unhappy with my current situation... I'll just try to bitch less about it and just be silent and wait for day ZERO when my surgery will take place. Gosh, this waiting time is really driving me crazy. I will be glad when all this is over!!!

How did you all spend your last 40 days with your own natural hearing? Or were you just too busy that the waiting time passed by very fast? I am nervous and I felt horrible in the past few weeks. I feel I'm alone with all those worries and fears and problems (which might seem little to an
outsider) .. and I have this ringing in my ear which isn't so bad as I do hear again so it's not that distracting but if I didn't hear anything at all it would drive me crazy.. I need to fill out the questionnaire about my surgery and get informed about the anesthesia and go to hospital so they can tell me all about it. I need to do that a few weeks before the surgery, so I need to do that very soon. I was procrastinating with that. .
Anyway, tomorrow I'm working and then I have another two days off :) I hope the weather will be nice so that I can go outside and do some writing outside. It's been raining for weeks it's really annoying me.... I want some sunshine damn in!!!

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OpenID rachelsword said...

Well Sandra, I can't possibly know what it's like what you are going through, but you aren't alone!!!!! And having alot of rain too, so can't get out can bring your mood down. It will change! I promise! I do think you think on it too much and need a distraction!!! Work out to some videos on youtube or do some dancing or make cookies!!!! Just try to find some ways to distract your mind so you aren't fixed on it so much. It's gonna stress you out and you need to be calm with all this sweetie.......XXXXXOOOOO (yah that ringing would be really bad if you couldn't hear at all....) I'm still around!!!!! Rachel

June 5, 2010 at 3:44 AM  
Blogger inspirationalguide said...

Rachel, thank you so much! I feel a lot better now and I think it might have something to do with the weather :) I know I think too much about it. I can't help myself when I'm scared.. *hugs* :)

June 5, 2010 at 11:45 PM  

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