My first 561 words of NANOWRIMO 2009

Chapter 1

"Where should I begin? And I thought that my life would be easy but it was not. It all turned out different, in a way, I never expected it or dreamed that it would happen. So how do I begin writing my story? How do I best explain the incidents which are still so vivid in my head as if it all happened yesterday whereas it happened a while ago? How do I best explain all this to you without causing you any further pain but yet make you understand the situation better? I am scared to write about it but you just have to know it and sooner or later you would find it out yourself. I wanted to save you the embarrassement so I will do the first step and tell you everything." she did not realize that she was thinking aloud.

She looks into the mirror and does not recognize herself anymore.

"Oh, I look so broken." and touches her forehead. She does not regoznize this face in the mirror anymore.

"I am not this happy woman I used to be but there is little hope" she runs her fingers trhough her hair.

"There is little hope that is growing inside me, I can see it and it gives me hope." She keeps starring at her other self in the mirror and then looks down to her stomach and is lost in her thoughts.

"There must be a reason for all this." she looks up.

"I have been told that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason for why those things happened to me." she sighs aloud. She hasa hard time to focus on the good things but just tries to keep it all together, her life, her situation for the child's sake.

All of a sudden she felt a bit dizzy and decided to sit down and went to her bed. She could feel her pulse beating fast in her head in a quite unusual irregular interval. There was this pressure inside her head as if her thoughts wanted to break out of her skull.

"Oh make this stop." she told herself, while rubbing her forehead so as to ease this uncomfortable pain, which she felt inside her head. She tried to close her eyes and think of soemthing beautiful to distract her mind. She breathed heavily. This beating pulse she could still feel in her head and she was not sure whether this came from this thing growing inside her or from thinking too much about the other stuff that happened.

She feels very exhausted lately and decided to take a little nap which she would definitely do her good. She turns around. She just cannot sleep on her stomach as she did before. It just feels uncomfortable and makes her feel nauseous so she turns to the other side. She was about to fall asleep when she thoguht she just heard something and got up after taking a deep breath. She thoguht she was being paranoid but it did not let her in peace so she had to get up and check from where this strange voice came. Or maybe this voice is just coming from inside her head? She has no idea but took all her strength to get up and look for the source of the voice.